Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
whose parrot is this?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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