well I can't set my house on fire every night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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