I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
