We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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