ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
