if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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