Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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(714): View more from California

im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?

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(248): View more from Michigan

i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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(631): View more from New York

I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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