i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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