dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
