uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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