My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
