My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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