love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
