i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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