please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize