I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize