Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
