The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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