Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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