just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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