went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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