He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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