Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.