Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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  (978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm? http://tfl.nu/7m7e
  Replies (22) Good night (1947) Bad night (4047)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.

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  (908): there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo. http://tfl.nu/6eag
  Replies (37) Good night (4501) Bad night (941)
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  (+33): View more from France

  how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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  (+33): how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men? http://tfl.nu/4scz
  Replies (61) Good night (6992) Bad night (1219)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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  (215): The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law. http://tfl.nu/o7ax
  Replies (7) Good night (3624) Bad night (1105)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

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  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3898) Bad night (730)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.

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  (989): ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore. http://tfl.nu/xzjn
  Replies (12) Good night (1633) Bad night (4146)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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  (937): A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/4mc3
  Replies (16) Good night (2696) Bad night (852)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water

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  (416): They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water http://tfl.nu/xb1j
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1452)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER

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  (215): I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER http://tfl.nu/d76b
  Replies (7) Good night (1271) Bad night (409)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  cocks speak louder than words, as they say

  (914): View more from New York

  Nobody says that.

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  (207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk
  Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (496)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people

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  (503): get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people http://tfl.nu/medo
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (652)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Also, beer. Big fan.

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  (256): Also, beer. Big fan. http://tfl.nu/g295
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (224)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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  (724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (326)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.

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  (708): So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch. http://tfl.nu/utw7
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (288)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that

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  (306): well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that http://tfl.nu/qqt3
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (628)

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