if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.