i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think a kid would responsible me up
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it