I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.