What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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