She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
