he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
