Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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