How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
