Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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