I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
