I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You're like the curious george of whores
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
