you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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