I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
