just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
