i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
