I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do vagina's smell?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
