I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.