Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can i not drive my cunt home

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  (919): Can i not drive my cunt home http://tfl.nu/l3bm
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.

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  (972): He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me. http://tfl.nu/b757
  Replies (22) Good night (5078) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home

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  (262): I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home http://tfl.nu/gzni
  Replies (26) Good night (13241) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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  (607): The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you. http://tfl.nu/2p1b
  Replies (8) Good night (4470) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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  (978): as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..." http://tfl.nu/w3wh
  Replies (17) Good night (5817) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

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  (512): So....maintenance found the bullethole..... http://tfl.nu/54el
  Replies (21) Good night (5206) Bad night (2180) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?

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  (570): i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it? http://tfl.nu/x3ze
  Replies (4) Good night (2568) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

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  (620): The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices". http://tfl.nu/jiwo
  Replies (23) Good night (4830) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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  (816): And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog. http://tfl.nu/zv3p
  Replies (10) Good night (3045) Bad night (1623) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  they call him Oral-B. enough said

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  (905): they call him Oral-B. enough said http://tfl.nu/vhzo
  Replies (12) Good night (2882) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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  (859): When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs" http://tfl.nu/jaco
  Replies (6) Good night (2725) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?

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  (615): I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there? http://tfl.nu/ykvu
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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  (201): We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend? http://tfl.nu/y0ae
  Replies (10) Good night (780) Bad night (1375) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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  (763): I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy http://tfl.nu/fuzq
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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