somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS