I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses