The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.