Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
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I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death