Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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