I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
