summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
