i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
