When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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