is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
