even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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