she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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