Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
