tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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