I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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