If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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