it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
