I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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