I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
