Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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