Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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