Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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