May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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