seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
