But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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