D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
