your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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