he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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