I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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