there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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