I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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