Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
