and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
