I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
