i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
