If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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